Saturday, 30 May 2009

Our local supermarket - the height of sophistication

The husband sent me an email at work the other day asking me to get some guacamole to go with some nachos we were having that evening.

I had a nagging feeling that our local supermarket, which I work opposite, may not be up to the task.

I gave them the benefit of my doubt, after all last week they reopened after moving things from one aisle to another and giving the staff new fleeces undergoing a huge revamp which was launched with a massive strawberry frightening small children out of their wits and making them cry wandering round tapping people on the shoulder and giving out fridge magnets and free bananas.

I perused the shelves and couldn't find any guacamole. Finding a supermarket employee I approached her.

"Do you have any guacamole?" said I

"Gwakkawot?" said she with a look of confusion

"A Mexican dip made from avocados. If you don't stock it we could make our own with avocados" said I

"Avvawot?" Said she

I decided that maybe the village wasn't ready to embrace Mexican dips and gave up.

Two days later, husband sent me an email at work asking for fresh mint and thyme for some meatballs. Again, no joy. The nearest thing to mint was a Polo. At this rate the husband is going to have to tone down his menu choices.

Last month one of my colleagues bought some apples from the same supermarket. Biting into one he announced that his apple tasted of ... cheese. Some others tried apples out of the same bag.

Yes, cheese was the general consensus.

If I could get them to make the apples taste of avocado I could make my own gwakkawot.

19 comments:

PippaD said...

Reminds me of the time I took Top Ender to the supermarket and thought I'll use this as a learning exercise and got her to read the labels, stood in place an assistant asked me if I needed help. "No thank you I am teaching my daughter to read" thirty seconds later neither I or the assitant had moved and the said same assistant asked if we needed any help... (http://amothersramblings.blogspot.com/search/label/Supermarket)

English Mum said...

Sorry, I can't get past the fact that your husband not only cooks, but uses mint and thyme and stuff too?! Royally impresses. My own darling husbag would burn a baked bean. Yup our supermarket is just as useless. A recent search for arborio rice produced blank looks and 'erm... we've got boil-in-the-bag'. Oh never mind.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Fabulous! I love Gwakkawot!

Kylie w Warszawie said...

Awesome! Cheese flavored apples? I want some.

And why was a strawberry giving out bananas? That's gotta be against some code.

The wife of bold said...

Hysterical - cheese flavoured apples now that's the future:)

Kat said...

Is this a chain of supermarkets? If so I want to know which one so I can avoid it!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Their motto? If it's not porridge you're looking for Don't Ask! Runny we have the same supermarket in our neighborhood - perhaps they are going global?

Me, Amplified said...

Gwakkawot is an awesome name.
i'm so going to ask for it at my supermarket...

Scope said...

Holy Guacamole, Batman!

You may wish to find the store manager, and kindly point out that it's 2009, and that people's tastes, while not "out growing" bangers and mash or sheppard's pie, have become more broad in the areas of fresh ingrediants and internationally inclusiveness.

Or, say, "Dude/dudette. Seriously. If you want me to ever darken your doorway again, get with it."

What ever approach works for you.

itsasmallworldafterallfamily said...

I once made the mistake of trying to buy nasturtians in the Homebase garden centre. I was met with a similar response "nas what?". You need to work opposite a Waitrose...

Under the Influence said...

Can you get Grapple's? Our stores (in the US) have grapples - apples with a hint of grape flavor!

ModernMom said...

I can't get over the fact that people were willing to try apples that tasted like cheese! LOL

Dana's Brain said...

Gwakkawot is one of my all time favorite thing to eat!

Cheese flavored apples? Not so much.

kestrel said...

I guess the next best thing is to have to search the shelves and hope it's all there, just that the staff were not aware of the items. Hope you have better luck the next round,

Blythe said...

Sainsburys Local? Because that's what it sounds like to me!

Expat mum said...

No guacamole AND no avacadoes. Perhaps another supermarket??? I am rather envious of a husband with such culinary inclinations though!

Rebel Mother said...

Award for you over at mine RM x

Noble Savage said...

Sounds like my hometown supermarket where the checkout girl held up the asparagus I was buying and said "What is THIS?" When I told her it was a vegetable she looked at me incredulously and said "So you EAT them?!" Oh dear.

clareybabble said...

This is why I shop online, saves so much hassle!! x