Monday 16 March 2009

No witnesses have come forward ...

This is chief suspect, Stealth Boy, also known around these parts as the 3 year old. He looks a bit like Sportacus but don’t be deceived.

Over recent times he has been getting up very early, sometimes undetected, and it is believed that his latest covert operation is in full swing.


He leaves calling cards all over the house, evidence of his early morning work.

For instance, over recent weeks, I have found the following oddities which have a distinct whiff of '3 year old';

1. I start to read my book. After a few minutes I realise that either a) I have read the chapter already or b) I have travelled forward in time. My bookmark has been moved.

2. I pick up an apple from the fruit bowl. It already has a single child sized bite mark.

3. There is a beautiful yellow crayon sunshine on the dining room wall.

4. Deleting messages from my mobile phone sent items I come across a message to a friend’s phone saying ‘fogypipy jambegy?’.

5. A tub of fish food has been opened and upturned on the 13 year old's bed.

6. Three tulips out of 6 in a vase looking the as if they have been attacked with a sword.

7. Five calculators open on the computer desktop.

8.
A biscuit barrel with half its contents missing and a trail of crumbs …

9. A lipstick crushed into its lid.

and the grand finale, crime of the century ...



10. A beanbag minus its innards.

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26 comments:

Unknown said...

I think you need to call in the detectives from Lazytown, that Stephanie one will sort it out for you ;-)

Metropolitan Mum said...

Bizarre. Must be the same gang that secretly empties my biscuit tin... Shame that I don't even have children to blame it on.

Anonymous said...

And is he practicing the 'wide eyed and innocent' look when confronted with the evidence?

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Hmmmmmmm... mysterious indeed.

b said...

It sounds like the Mr Nobody who visits my house when I am not looking. It is astounding what destruction can be created in a very short matter of time.

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe you are accusing such an innocent, with no tangible proof. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's perfectly obvious you have a poltergeist problem.

Tim Atkinson said...

It's an open-and-shut case, a fair cop, Guv. You've got 'im bang to rights.

Reasons said...

No use crying over spilt beans! Sorry! He looks very fetching in his goggles, obviously a cunning disguise. xx

Selina Kingston said...

Hello there!
I'm new to your blog but I love it.
As to your problem, all I can say is I used to have very similar things happen in my home. All stopped now though....apart from the biscuit thing!!
I know you have lots of followers but if you have a moment, take a look at my blog. Meanwhile though, I shall continue to read yours with interest.
Selina
http://selinakingstonisforty.blogspot.com/

Little Ms J said...

Hilarious!

Expat mum said...

I think his five year old soul-brother comes out after bed time. I often find my pyjamas on my pillow (very sweet but I usually look for them for about 10 minutes), all my shampoo down the loo, which is then flushed!!! He is big into "pranking" but it's getting very tiresome. I am resorting to threats and bribes.

Blythe said...

Oh my. That sounds like quite the (amusing) challenge! Best of luck!

MGM said...

Okay. That is hysterical, but only because it's not happening in my home.

And I think the resemblance to Sporticus is uncanny (not to mention extremely funny).

Anonymous said...

Our 4 year old has recently decided to change his routine from waking up at 7 to waking up no later than 5. The catch is, he doesn't want to be awake alone. So either Mama, Papa or little brother has to wake up as well. Sometimes I feel I could handle some detruction if he would allow me an hour or so of extra sleep.

Lucy Filet said...

Too cute! I have many many of these days!

And to keep with the Lazytown references, my daughter has a pink Sephora wig and today all of my boys wanted to wear it and be Stephanie from Lazytown.

I figure all 3 can't be gay, right?

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmm. I have similar problems. Has he secretly been over to my house???

BookChook said...

One look at that innocent face and I know for sure it isn't him. Have you considered aliens?

Anonymous said...

oh...dear... *stiffling giggles* thats...really bad huh?

*snort*

sorry.

wahahahahaaaaaaa... going now.

Anonymous said...

at least you got a sunshine on your wall... all I got from my artist was some post modern colour blobs and black swirls... if you asked her for the meaning behind the work she would probably say that it was an expression of her inner turmoil at having to choose between Franklin and Dora in the afternoon TV time....

Anonymous said...

Always wanted to see what the innards of a bean bag looked like!

CJ xx

Sparx said...

Cripes! All this to look forward to... holy cow you just made my heart stop!

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, s mall bite out of an apple, a tell-tale sign of littleums...

PurpleClover said...

First of all I could relate to everything on that list. SCARY!

My daughter loves LazyTown...she actually does like Sporticus more than Stephanie (hmm...file that to worry about later)

I have to buy lipstick or chapstick every other week because she crushes the cap on while its turned all the way up. ugh. Loreal owes me!

And while we have no bean bags (thank goodness!) we do have several boxes of miscellaneous cereal which get opened and "poured" into a a very small bowl...the rest land neatly on the floor. I LOVE my Dyson vacuum. Costed an arm and a leg but totally worth the purchase!

I have had the emergency reponse center (911 here in the states) call us back because my daughter has dialed it by mistake while in church.

And my computer runs extremely slow and I think Crayola.com is the culprit (along with my 3yr old "suspect")

Wow...are ALL three year olds the same??

Ladybird World Mother said...

!!! Love it. Think he's been here too...

Anonymous said...

Highlighting your blog on British Mummy Bloggers this week...

Frog in the Field said...

I love this post, it's hilarious - brilliant!