Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Whispering From The Squatting Position

It’s dark, except for the blue glow of the nightlight. I am crouching on the floor wearing only a pair of big knickers, fumbling around in a large plastic box. My son is sleeping less than a metre away ... I am quite clearly mad.

It all started as I was brushing my teeth last night. I had a brainwave. A plan that would secure me extra minutes of sleep in the morning. I decided that I would put together the 2 year olds wooden train track (complete with signals and trees) whilst he slept so that when he woke at 5.30am it would be the first thing he saw.

He would then spend time playing with his train set instead of waking me, lying between my husband and I head down, asking that I tickle his feet for 30 minutes before I agree to get up and make breakfast in a grumpy fashion.

So it came to pass that I had to fumble around in the box, with limited sight, seeking out the correct pieces by touch for my masterpiece. We have quite a lot of track, it took time.

I was disturbed only once by my husband stood in the doorway looking at me in my large pants. I whispered my plan to him from my squatting position and he went to bed without any questions. He’s clearly used to this sort of unusual activity.

I admit I got a little carried away. There were tunnels, the track went under his bed, round one of the legs and out again. We had junctions, farm animals, trees and signals. I proudly admired my tour de force by blue glow and went to bed.

The ‘trainwave’ earned me an extra 30 minutes of sleep the following morning, but was overshadowed by the fact that it took me 30 minutes to assemble when I could have been sleeping the night before.

I’m now on a quest for a new morning distraction, it has to have the wow factor of not being in his bedroom before he went to bed and take me 2 minutes to arrange. I have made the following ‘extra sleep’ calculations … Mr Potato Head; 10 minutes, cars and garage; noise + 20 minutes, chunky farm jigsaw; 5 minutes before he loses interest.

I think I may have peaked too early, I should have saved the trains till last.

30 minutes of upside down feet tickling for me tomorrow.


The Grocer said...

Interesting image. Negotiate a 50/50 split on foot tickling duties with hubby if I were you.

Ro said...

How bizarre! Followed your link from netmums, was reading through your rather fabulous blog (I'm totally obsessed with blogs & yours is great & has made me laugh lots!) & then I thought, actually, I think I know who you are?! We met ages & ages ago through netmums when our girlies (well, my eldest girly as I lost my senses about a year & a half ago and had another one!!) were little? They have the same birthday? We ate a lot of rather gorgeous chocolate orange cake once?! Oh yep, and my name is Ro & my daughter's name is Freya? Does that sound familiar or am I going even more bananas than I already was?! x

Laura said...

It's me! I remember ... you are not bonkers, we did eat chocolate and orange cake!

How are you? You can contact me on if you want.

Mel said...

I've tried to overcome it, but the pants are the overriding image in this one...

Laura said...

Did I mention they were BIG pants? The sort you only discovered when pregnant for the comfort factor and haven't been able to stop wearing since.

Millennium Housewife said...

A trail of biscuits around the room ending in a pack of chewing gum. Should take him ages, and keep him quiet. MH