Wednesday, 28 January 2009

More Concussion and Naked People ...

This post relates to this one and that one (concussion and the naked man!). If you don't understand, don't worry ... normal service will resume tomorrow.

This is an 'anonymous' email I received ... from my ummmm ... Dad.

Head butting kitchen cupboard doors is in your genes. When your Mum lived in the flat at blah blah blah she actually knocked herself out on an open cupboard door. We were in the kitchen at the time and I was washing the dishes distracted by the neighbour in the semi-detached property who habitually washed her dishes topless (which is why I always voluntarily washed the dishes). Thus distracted I failed to notice the break in our conversation and thought that the silence meant that that your Mum had left the room.

When I eventually finished the dishwashing and dragged myself away from the spectacle of our neighbour’s glorious bosom I found your mum on the floor slumped semi – conscious against the kitchen units. Luckily the open door was not my fault (I would have remembered the bollocking!), the kitchen cupboard was not damaged and your Mum made a full recovery.

What my anonymous father fails to mention is that the 'topless neighbour' also had a 'naked husband' similar to ugly naked guy in Friends.

I must apologise now .... it's been a slow 'blogging material' week. The children have been behaving and haven't embarrassed me.

I, Laura, promise that there will be no more mention of naked people or concussion herewith.

13 comments:

Robert said...

Pleeeeeaaaaaaasssssse don't keep your promise. Or un-promise it. I loved hearing about your concussed mother, naked men and the topless buxom lady neighbour. Actually, I loved hearing about the topless buxom dish-washing lady neighbour the best. I'm obviously living in the wrong neighbourhood since nothing similar happens here...

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

I'm sure at some point I will have to revoke my promise.

The lady neighbour incident was over 30 years ago and if she does still live there I imagine she wouldn't be so buxom anymore!

Tawny said...

Excellnt stuff! Dads are great for revealing things that happened years ago. I love it when my dad gets all reflective, he can have my sister and I in tears of laughter!

Nicola said...

Glad to hear the kids are behaving so that we get a gem of a story involving dads watching topless neighbours! Gonna have to phone my dad today (just to say hi, not to pester him about his wandering eye...)

Thanks laura!!

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

Tawny and Nicola - I have hundreds of hysterical Dad stories to save for slow weeks, though I may have to clear them past him first!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Well then I'm not reading any more! Don't you dare stop. I bet dear old dad still got some grief - unless he just didn't tell your mum how long she was out before he noticed!

The Dotterel said...

We've got a dishwasher - I knew it wasn't going to be as much fun.

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

Merrily - Don't you go anywhere!

Dotterel - We don't have a dishwasher, just me and my view is of the squirrels in the garden ... not the same.

More than a Mother said...

Bless your dad - what a player! ;)

imbeingheldhostage said...

Well daaang, I was liking the concussion nekked people theme-- far better than what I'm posting about for January. ;-)

That story is hilarious (and mortifying at the same time-- he didn't notice?!)

Hey my word verification is domented. Nearly right.

Expat mum said...

Aaghh, dads are not supposed to fess up to that kind of voyeurism. Too much information!

Expat mum said...

PS. Notice not many (if any) have commented on your poor mother!

The Book Chook said...

No more naked people and concussion? Why, for gosh sake? I love naked people! Under these clothes I am naked right now. And concussion is like a silly duffer's badge of honour.

Please revoke that promise!