Monday, 26 January 2009

A Fat Lip and a Full Frontal View

Just another day in the life …

I didn't have concussion but I do still have an egg on my head. However that is nothing compared to today’s affliction...

I woke up this morning with the BIGGEST cold sore you ever did see (so big that I nearly took a picture to show you, but, wouldn’t want you vomiting on your keyboard so decided not to). It has made my lip swell to four times its normal size. I smeared it in antiseptic cream, nappy cream and Blisteze and went to the chemist.

The woman behind the counter remarked "Wow, look at the size of that". Unimpressed by her enthusiasm I could only muster “Umm, thanks”. She then summoned her colleague, who I assumed was a pharmacist, to come and look. Finally the pharmacist came to look at the freak show and gave me some cream which should clear it in five days. Great. Just in time for husband’s birthday party.

Not only do I have to worry about the double party day, double cakes and music, but now I have to ride the ‘Will I or won’t I have to wear a paper bag on my head’ bus to Saturday.

As if a fat lip wasn't enough to contend with I dropped the 4 year old at school this morning and when I returned to my car it wouldn't start. I had to walk very quickly up a steep hill to work. Luckily I had decided to wear flat shoes for the first time in months which aided my speed walking.

AND as if all the above wasn’t hideous enough …

I must have been fairly traumatised by my lip and the car fiasco because it is now, only seven hours later, that I have remembered seeing a naked man on my 'speed walk' to work.

Don’t get excited, it wasn’t the sort of naked man you want to see.

As I walked past his house he was stood in his, I can only assume, bedroom which has a floor to ceiling window and he was totally naked, taking in the morning view.

As he was elderly I wish I hadn't taken in his, full frontal, view.

Somebody sent me this link two days ago, maybe they are a ‘soothsayer’ and thought it would prepare me for the shock that was to come.

8 comments:

Tawny said...

Oh dear, you really are having a Jonah day. Hopefully you will wake up tomorrow to a perfectly running car, no memories of old naked chap and lips as smooth and unfat as you could wish for.

I will keep my fingers crossed!

The Dotterel said...

Oh, not Mary T's two-year-old then?

Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

Oh no to the naked guy!
Like the one on Friends, but not quite so funny!

More than a Mother said...

Tara - ugly naked guy? Those scenes made me laugh so much - remember when they poked him? LOL

Potty, cold sores are just the pits :(

Hmmm, I just wrote a rather lewd remark but sensibly deleted it prior to saving it. I must be growing up.

More than a Mother said...

God I'm such an idiot (and clearly NOT growing up) I did actually mean to address my comment to Laura, not to Potty Mummy. I do NOT think the two of you are one and the same. I promise. D'oh. I'll go now...

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

Tawny - I am crossing everything

Dotterel - No, not Mary's flasher!

Tara - Definitely not as funny as the naked guy on Friends.

More than Mother - I think to make up for calling me Potty you should tell me what your lewd remark was going to be!

More than a Mother said...

It wasn't made gratuitiously, but in the interests of health and safety. I was just concerned that cold sores are highly contagious, and that you should refrain from giving hubby an early er... birthday treat. Is that lewd? Or helpful? Or just frankly unnecessary? Hmmm, I'm going to bed before I get myself in any more trouble...

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

More than a mother - it is lewd, helpful and frankly uneccessary but I love it. Your comment, that is, not the sharing of contagiousness.

Right - will shut up now.