Monday, 27 April 2009

Show Your Ears and Shut Your Mouth

After having to rush my passport through for Walt Disney World I took a look at the pictures old and new.

Something to note before continuing - I do have eyebrows ... nice, healthy, dark eyebrows. However, the passport office computer decided to give them a wax and reshape ... so much so that in the old photo it looks like there was a waxing accident.

In the old photo I was 20, carefree and smiley. I knew what a lie in was, an afternoon in the pub and staying out past midnight, I didn’t have to share my time amongst several people. I could do what I wanted when I wanted. No responsibility.

In the new photo I am 30. I look sombre. I haven’t had a lie in since 2004, I turn into a pumpkin at 11pm. I have a husband, two kids, a dog and a job. I share my food, though not by choice. I spend my time between peace keeping, endless washing and repeating the same phrases over and over again.

However, pictures can be deceptive.

A few things you may need to know about the new photo.

1) The passport office have a no smile policy. The current advice is to show your ears and shut your mouth.

2) I was sat in the photo booth in the foyer of my local Co-op on a very windy day. The curtain kept wafting up, revealing me trying to do ‘non smiley’ faces and I was hoping that no one I knew would be walking past at that moment.

3) Despite my solemn face, I am one million times happier than I was ten years ago

Thank god I can't find my passport from 20 years ago. I had a mullet and the look of a startled rabbit that the Spanish authorities used to laugh at.


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When you read this, if it is indeed Tuesday I shall be impatiently travelling to Florida. Putting all thoughts of swine flu to one side I am getting up at 4am for my good old Dad to chauffer me to the airport. 19 hours later I should arrive in Florida.

I keep having flashbacks to a film I watched circa 1990 where a family travel to Walt Disney World and lose their suitcases ... they spend their holiday wearing a combination of Disney themed items. I am finding this thought horrifying, however, the more I think about it the more I am convinced it will happen.


17 comments:

Michelle said...

You understand that a narrative on the photos wasn't necessary, right? We knew all those things with just one glance. But thanks for the clarification on the brows.

Under the Influence said...

Nineteen hours? What kind of flight did they put you on?

I was very disappointed last time I had my passport renewed and learned of the "no smile" policy. If they want to see the real me, they should let me smile, because I can guarantee, if I am traveling on a trip that requires a passport, I will be smiling!

Gaston Studio said...

You're going to have a blast! And who cares what your passport photo looks like; only customs will see it!

Mum Gone Mad said...

Have a fantastic time and smile! I hope you have to wear Disney themed outfits, I want to see pics :)

Mum's the word said...

Stop worrying.
If your suitcases get lost, there are a million shops in Florida, give or take a few.
And mani/pedi are a fraction of the cost out there.
So go treat yourself!

AliBlahBlah said...

I took one look at my regulation no-smile photo and promptly went out and had my photos re-taken because I looked SO PISSED OFF! I compromised with a sultry half smile which made me look marginally less cross. Still haven't had the finished product back from the British Embassy though so maybe it was half a smile too much....

amy said...

Hope you have a great time! x

KO said...

Have a great time....FOrget about that flu and enjoy yourself... I have 2 co-workers in Mexico now, I don;t want to see them whent hey come back...lol
KO

Jo Beaufoix said...

Sighhhhh. I wondered who would be going. I had t turn this down as I can't leave my two right now. Gutted. Can I just say it again, GUTTED.
But I will be following you avidly. Hope you have an amazing time.

Oh, and those passport photos aren't half bad. On mine I always look slighlty depressed, or a little bit unhinged. :D

Not Waving but Drowning said...

Have fun! Bring back some MM ears.

GG

Katherine said...

I had to plaster the Touche Eclat last time I had my passport renewed. To be honest, I'd look even worse if I was allowed to smile!!!!! ;)

HER ON THE HILL said...

I have two mates on the same trip as you - one real, one cyber. Try and find out which is which...
Have fun and scream lots. That way no-one will know if you're loving it or hating it!

What is it with the 'no smile I'm a criminal' policy? Why the hell can't we smile? Do terrorists smile?

Ps: I found one of your marbles the other day. It was in the fruit bowl.

HER ON THE HILL said...

PPS: sadly my eyebrows never disappear. I look like Groucho Marx.

Maternal Tales said...

I hate that no smile policy. Trying to get small children not to smile is much harder than you think!

Nice photos either way...

By the time you read all these comments you'll be there and you'll wonder why you were so worried.

Enjoy yourself!

Kelloggsville said...

I thought as passport photos go it's a pretty good one, hope you have a fantastic time x

Maddy said...

I just had my passport renewed and realized the 'no smile' policy which is bad because if I smile all the wrinkles look like laughter lines, without the smile I just look like a hag!
Cheers

Metropolitan Mum said...

Not only a great blog but also a pretty face :-)

I have to apply for a passport for little L to fly to the states later this year. The rules are open eyes, mouth shut and no crying. Now this is gonna be fun with a newborn...

Enjoy your trip! And have your picture taken when wearing one of these costumes!