Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Just another morning ...

It is half term. The kids are staying at home today with daddy. No rushing to school, stay in jamas as long as you like, steady away.

I have been awake since 5.30. I was rudely awoken by the 3 year old who crawled into bed and clamped his cold feet to my toasty warm body. I was momentarily bitter, well, for a few moments actually.

I read Snow White & the Seven Dwarves 14 times. The 3 year old is particularly taken by the evil queen who he refers to as the ‘nice fairy’.

I have drunk three cups of tea, it is only 7am.

I start breakfast proceedings. The 4 year old appears all sleepy, but instantly bossy. I ask them what they want; Cheerios for the 4 year old, Boulders and Crispies for the 3 year old. He’s a cereal mixer just like Gramps and Mummy.

After breakfast I bung some washing in the dryer and put a new load in the washer. The never ending cycle. I constantly have two baskets of ironing on standby. Standing by for a time when I have three days spare to do the lot in one go. Never. Gonna. Happen.

The chilren are playing one of their chase, growl and laugh, chase, growl and cry games together.

I tell them I’m going to get ready for work; No playing with knives, ringing Australia on my mobile or ordering porn on Sky. I’m joking right?

All is well. I am able to shower, get dressed, apply make-up and, shock horror, brush my hair. I worry that my work colleagues may not recognise me if I am not sporting my ‘dragged through a hedge’ look.

I come back downstairs and busy myself with packing my handbag with enough sugary snacks to last till lunchtime. I can hear the children playing. This is a good sign. Silence is bad, screaming is bad, good old chuntering and playing is excellent. The only problem being I can’t locate them!

I follow their hushed tones to the downstairs toilet. I panic a little, my heart isn’t ready for another episode of poo clearing, wee on the wall or a towel induced sink flood or … well they could be up to anything to be fair.

I open the door anxiously to find, in a room the size of an average toilet cubicle, the 3 year old, a pillow, a drum, some plastic food, a small suitcase and the 4 year olds duvet which is … moving.

I remove the duvet to find the dog, a rather large Labrador, who looks at me with pleading eyes. If she could speak she would be screaming ‘PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE’.

After a discussion about toilets and bedding not mixing, the dog liking her own space and the perils of playing games in the vicinity of the toilet bowl I go to work …

… for a rest.

15 comments:

Blythe said...

Fabulous. My person favourite was when I showed up for work and the kids had decked a bunch of stuffed animals out for a "fashion show"-- glitter hair spray, fancy hair bobbles, you name it.

It was a sight to see.

Corey Schwartz said...

Highly entertaining. And I learned two new words- bung and chuntering. Can't wait to use those on my blog :)

halfmarathongirl said...

I too have been at work today whilst boys stayed at home with Husband and then went to a friend's to play. Was lovely to be able to get myself dressed without the usual accompaniment of shouting, last minute packed-lunch making and desperate searches for recorder / plastic tub for cooking / spelling list (delete as appropriate. Lovely!!

Maddy said...

We have a Labradoodle with similar needs. As for the laundry, I've more or less given up. WE're not in half term but 'ski week' which is great if you can go skiing but not quite so great if you're stuck at home in the rain!
Cheers

lunarossa said...

I really feel for you! My kids are slightly older but the drama is similar here as well. The aggravation is that my office is at home and half-term is a nightmare for me. And the further aggravation is that hubby is at home as well, tired and in need of his deserved holiday...But what about me? Wish you all the best for the rest of the half-term week. Ciao. Antonella

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Just another morning in paradise! Sounds just like my house. And if the Bunny can't learn to aim his pee there will be hell to pay! Strange lot - those boy creatures. xoxox

Kylie w Warszawie said...

Well, the fun never stops for me since I leave my own preschool to go teach at another...

but my SIL who works for the government says the EXACT SAME THING. She works for a rest.

imbeingheldhostage said...

For just a moment, I thought you had been peeking-- this is our day. Well, except I was the one in pj's until 3 only because taking my eyes off my clan long enough for a shower could mean I end up running from a burning house naked and dripping wet.

Is your job hiring? I'd like a rest and I can come in looking like I crawled out from under a hedge if it's a requirement.

Nobby and Me said...

You've conjured up a great image, especially the poor dog. Mine seems to think she will be safe from the little monsters if she stands behind my legs while I am cooking...

What masochist invented half term?!!

Mrs. C. said...

Hooray, you made it out the door all in one piece! Off to the land of work where, if you're lucky, no one asks you to tie anything, blow anything, or wipe anything. Unless you work in porn, I guess. Or are a school teacher.

Whenever I try to go into my bathroom and get ready for work I always hear thundering feet. No child can ever explain what is making the noise when I come out and question them, however. It's a mystery of life...

Be strong, and if that doesn't work hide under the duvet with the dog!

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Oh yes chuntering is a lovely word. I could chunter all day long. In fact only the other day............... J x

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Oh yes chuntering is a lovely word. I could chunter all day long. In fact only the other day............... J x

Mel said...

You sure pack in a lot in the mornings and totally sympathise with the cold feet at a time that doesn't really exist!
Glad you get a rest at work, I wish I were so lucky, writing for home leaves me little to escape the screaming, food and drink and play shenanigans!

Surprised and Excited Mum said...

The joy of sitting behind a desk, drinking HOT coffee and not having to watch out for someone eating my computer cable.

MGM said...

I think I've lived this very same morning in my own life. In fact...I'm pretty sure of it!