Monday, 10 November 2008

Note to self – Buy More Bed Linen

The 2 year old started the ball rolling by regurgitating an entire plate of Spaghetti Bolognese down himself and his bed. Apart from the unmistakable smell of sick, it actually looked like it had when I’d presented it to him at tea time. I took the role of chambermaid whilst my husband wiped him down. No sooner had we put him back to bed and settled down to watch TV then he was off again. We automatically assumed our previous roles of chambermaid and chief child cleaner and put him back to bed reluctantly.

We managed another hour without incident before turning in for the night. As I started to drift off I heard it. The ‘burble’. I probably heard it before the 2 year old even considered making it (mothers’ instinct) because I sprang out of bed like a psychotic frog (wearing, of course, just a pair of big knickers) and dashed across the hall to his room. The poor boy was whipped out of bed and held over the toilet to make his final retching of the night.

I wouldn’t have normally been so quick off the mark but we are not a family of plentiful bed linen. In fact the only times I think about stocking up on extra duvet covers, fitted sheets and pillow cases are during episodes like this.

As I got back into bed I received a text from teacher friend, mother of three which said;

‘Two sick children. Is it wrong to bathe your children in antibacterial hand wash?’

I felt a sense of comfort that we were experiencing synchronised puking at opposite ends of the village and glad that under the circumstances I only had one child to find sheets for and not two.
The next day the 4 year old arrived home from a birthday party. As she excitedly told us about the party and was about to tell us what she had eaten she was sick over the length and breadth of the two bottom stairs, her socks and my husband’s jeans. It was quite plain to see that she had in fact been eating Cheesy Wotsits and not much else. As he carried her to the downstairs loo she erupted again all over the carpet (more Cheesy Wotsits and a trace of Party Ring). My poor big little girl spent the rest of the night in the vicious circle of sipping water and then bringing it back up again. In order to save the bed linen which was still in various stages of washing machine/tumble dryer I made her lie on the sofa clutching a bowl until she fell asleep with her face in the bowl (she obviously understood the linen situation too).

I have discovered two things. Cleaning my children’s sick up is an automatic reflex. If it were anyone else’s I’d have had to wear a radiation suit and smear my nasal passages with Vicks VapoRub … and if you don’t remove all the lumps first they just come out of the washing machine clean and intact.

Oh, and I’m not sure … Is it wrong to bathe your children in antibacterial hand wash?


Mel said...

Oh, it is so good to see the return of the big knickers...

A vomit-based literary triumph - I was quite proud of you.

The Grocer said...

Perhaps its nationwide as we retired last night to find Edge rolling in her own puke. She slept with us after that and luckily did not vomit again but the faint smell of vomit was never far from our nostrils all night despite a 1am bath.
As for Anti BAc Handwash no not an issue I have twice bathed shit covered son in kitchen sink recently as nearest safe depository.

Laura said...

Mel - the big knickers never went away!

grocer - you were brave with the 1am bath. I didn't dare risk it or for fear of further 'episodes'. From what you say about the kitchen sink I think we're on the same hygiene page.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post, very amusing. Hope you manage to nurse the little ones back to health. The next time Amy pukes, I shall think of you!

CJ xx

Stinking Billy said...

laura, there's nothing quite so bloggable as kids. ;-)

You might like take a look at expatmum, she's on my sidebar links, or you can try url

She has a four year-old (I think) who likes to do the housework when she's asleep in bed. A hoot!

Thanks for your support at my site. can I ask where you came across me?

Laura said...

CJ - Thanks

Stinking Billy - I've added expatmum - thanks. I came across you whilst I was 'blog surfing' this afternoon. You come up a lot as a blog other people follow .. very popular!

The Dotterel said...

Well, it beats the smell of dettol Laura! I had to clean Charlie up (alone) a couple of weeks ago with my arm in plaster. It was still sick-stained on Wednesday when they took it off. It's horrible, but amazingly 'do-able' when you're in the middle of it (so-to-speak!). Love the blog (as a newcomer).

steenky bee said...

Oh I say dunk them in the stuff. It couldn't hurt. Oh, dear, that's a lot of sick. So sorry. So very, very sorry.

Sandi McBride said...

Laura I could lie and tell you how much I miss those rolly poly days of upchucking children and diarrhea nights...but I won't...because I don't...the days of earaches and sore throats, untidy tummies and fevers of unknown origin are far behind me...and they know not to bring sick grands to me...neither the 2 legged or 4 legged grands are welcome if they are unwell...I'm more than happy to speak there names on the phone and tell them how badly Gran feels for them...but in my heart I feel it's payback...don't worry, your glad days will get here sooner than you want!
and my word verification is, believe it or not...comic...

Stinking Billy said...

laura, my congratulations on having added a whole new dimension to the adjective 'lavatorial'. ;-)

Corey Schwartz said...

Glad to see i am not the only one posting about puke!