Something along the lines of ... "Wake up at exactly 4.21am every morning starting tomorrow and wander into your parents room and tell them it's time to get up"
They were supposed to give him grommets, not an internal alarm clock, set for what I consider THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
We have one of those fandangled clocks which projects the time onto the ceiling in bright red. For four mornings it has throbbed 4.21 in the darkness as I return my reluctant boy back to bed where he lies and either shouts, cries, sings or goes back to sleep. The latter happening only once or twice.
The shouting becomes unbearable, like water torture (I imagine) ... 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy' then 'Muuuuuuumy ...... Muuuuuuuuuuumy ..... Muuuuuuuuuuuuumy'. It's amazing how many variations can be shouted and the different pitches which wear away your patience a little more with each shout.
I turn into a human yo-yo. Stumbling back into bed then being summoned for a kiss, to fill a beaker with water, a cuddle, to cover up his god damn sock clad feet or to assist him in having a wee. I turn into psycho-mummy telling him how furious I will be if he wakes his sister up.
Last night was the worst - first the 3 year old woke at 2.53 with a cough, then he woke his sister who started coughing too. I am able to testify that a cough can be passed through a wall. I, the human yo-yo staggered back and forth between the children. Cough tennis continued until at 4.17 there was silence for 35 minutes, followed by the equivilent of the Wimbledon Final of coughing.
The only good thing is that I have discovered that between the hours of 4.21 and 7.36 I do my best blog writing, unfortunately it is all in my head. By the time I am sat in front of my PC at a more reasonable hour it has all slipped out and I can remember nothing.
I am now at work, mainlining Diet Coke through a drip, holding my eyelids open with one hand and typing with the other. It's going to be a long day.
You can only imagine how hilarious this post was at 4.21 in the confines of my head.
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14 comments:
That sounds familiar, though I have the fun of two non-sleeping children in the middle of then night still to come.
And isn't it funny how, at the first "Muuuuuummmmmmmy", we still lie there thinking that that will be it and they'll go back to sleep. As if!
I don't know how you are even able to type. I got think straight when I've been woken up in the early hours, and it happens here often too!
Yikes, that is awful. Like going back to the days of having a newborn.
I get the shreiking 'muuuuuuuuuuuumy' constantly too. I think my daughter has recorded it somewhere and just hits play at regular intervals. It drrrrrrills into your head - can't imagine what it would do in the early hours x
PMSL at 'cough tennis'. Love it. Sorry, just realised my comment is totally lacking in sympathy for your plight. Hope tonight is better.
I always pretend to be sound asleep so that my husband will decide that he has to take care of it.
This was so funny Laura! I was up and down like the proverbial yo-yo between 2am-5am last night and am like a walking zombie today. and the yo-yoing backwards and forwards to satisfy every single demand drives me bonkers - you know they have you totally in the palm of their hand. This never happened when we had just the one. We locked a stair gate on his bedroom door, put in the earplugs and let him get on with it. I would always get woken up of course but at least I didn't have to step a foot out of bed. And the behaviour would always stop after 3 nights when he realised mummy meant business. Now I am so worried that one will wake up the other and I will have double trouble on my hands I bounce in and out of my bed like a trampoline in an effort to accomodate possibly the one request that will truly satisfy the need and send them back to sleep. Never happens.
Oh dear, I remember nights like those! You want to cuddle them but panic sets in as you start to realise how tired you will be in the morning.
Hope it improves.
CJ xx
Poor Laura, I really feel for you. There is nothing like sleep deprivation but I have to say, it does make you write a very good blog! ;-)
Cheer up- it could be worse. They might all be sleeping soundly and you might be lying awake, unable to sleep, in a silent house and thinking "why?". And those mental blog-posts don't make entertaining reading, I can tell you (unlike yours!).
I have the same problem with those damn blog posts. I write something really funny in my head at weird times and then when I sit at the computer and it all falls out in a jumble of words next to the computer that I can NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME put back in the right order.
My partner goes to work at 5am and every morning my four year old climbs into bed and sings 'Old Mcdonald' and 'Wheels on the bus' in my ear. When I dont get up he switches to
"Cereal", "Toast","Yoghurt".
My partner wonders why I'm in bed at 8PM.
Ergh - what was that you said? I must have dozed off what with working till midnight, The Bunny's nightmare and the Dog's too. (!) Then I woke up cold and couldn't string together the thought 'reach down an get additional blanket' - that is WAY too comples for my sleepy head so wrapped my arms around the dog and fell back asleep. *yawn*
Here's to sweet dreams all around!
Oh yes, I know this - the cry of 'Muuuummmmy' in the night and also the writing of hilarious blog posts that turn to mush in front of the computer screen... sigh...
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