Friday, 12 December 2008

Swallowing the cheese whole

Unusually the children opted for a snack tea tonight. They normally have a hot meal, but with the 4 year olds school nativity looming in a couple of hours I was more than happy to oblige.

The 4 year old specifically asked for cheese and tomato sandwiches. We were down to the bare essentials (milk and bread) and our Tesco delivery was not due till the following day.

Luckily during my lunch break I had popped to the shops and taken advantage of a BOGOF (Buy One Get one Free) offer on some mature cheddar.

The 2 year old decided to ‘help’ make tea. This ‘help’ usually involves him standing on a step against the worktop and fiddling with anything hot, sharp and/or electrical.

I was at the fridge explaining to the 4 year old that we were out of tomatoes when there was a squeal of delight, usually only associated with mischief.

I turned to see our dog (a large brown Labrador) with a whole block of cheese in her mouth and the 2 year old smiling. He just shrugged at me and said ‘she's hungry’ whilst pointing at the dog who was trying to work out whether she could swallow the cheese whole.

I wanted to scream ‘She’s always bloody hungry – she’s a Labrador’, but I composed myself and launched myself across the kitchen to remove the cheese from the dog's jaws.

I’m not sure what I planned to do with the cheese but for the briefest of moments I actually believe the thought that I may still be able to use the cheese in some way for tea crossed my mind.

The cupboards were bare, it was toilet paper sandwiches with milk or dog cheese sandwiches. Then I remembered the BOGOF offer I had taken advantage of earlier, I threw the soiled cheese in the bin and my children were saved from dogitis.

In the past our dog has eaten (stolen from the kitchen) frozen mince, a tub of margarine, a pomegranate, 3 large alter style candles, 2 loaves of bread, a bunch of bananas (complete with skins) and a full nappy to name but a few. Compared to that lot a block of cheese must have been a taste sensation … nearly.

So near but yet so far.


Jen said...

Wow, that is one hungry dog. I totally would have cut off the dog drool and ate the cheese. Isn't the dog's mouth suppose to be cleaner and a human's?

Jen said...

Oh and that you so much for you very kind words and support.

Susanna (A Modern Mother) said...

Cute story!

Impressed that:

1) your kids eat tomatoes
2) they eat mature cheddar

Well done you!

The Grocer said...

Nice to know my kids aren't the only ones gearing up for a future career in electrical engeneering.

(I'd have eaten the cheese)

Stinking Billy said...

Talk about give a dog a bad name! We had a couple of lab's some years ago, and the last one had to go when he began chewing the doors (and frames) whenever we left him on his own.

The Book Chook said...

I'll see you on the lab and raise you a whole roast.

It was Christmas time. My family has its roots in the UK and for some mad reason, we think Christmas lunch means huge roast despite 40 degree heat. Mum cooked a leg of pork, covered it in foil, we locked the lab in the laundry, and went off for a walk while the kitchen cooled down.

Who knew the lab could break out? When we arrived home, she had a distended belly and was licking the bone. Roast cheese anyone?

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Ya gotta love Labs - they are absolute bottomless pits. And it really doesn't matter what they eat - you can't convince me they can taste any of it - they wolf it so fast so you can't wrench it from their mouths. Too funny.

Mary T said...

This is very topical for me at the moment Laura.

I was attacked by a dog in Roundhay park yesterday whilst eating an ice cream. It jumped up at me and got mud all over my nice pink coat. I had a bit of an argument with it's owner which involved me telling them they should put it on a lead if they couldn't control it and asking if they were going to pay my dry cleaning bill. They didn't even apologise bloody cheek!

Laura said...

Looking back on the incident and thinking about the current financial climate perhaps I should have given it a wash and got on with it.

Mary - a man in our local park had bought his 2 terriers an ice cream and was offering them licks of it. Our huge dog, seeing this, lumbered over for some of the action. The foolish fool of a man offered our dog a lick - she took the whole thing off him and swallowed it in one. Served him right. Just for the record I'm not suggesting you are a fool ...