Sunday, 21 December 2008

Free Willy

Incident 1

We were snuggled on the sofa watching Channel 4's ‘Willie’s Perfect Chocolate Christmas’ and drooling as he made these.

The 4 year old was engrossed, she loves cooking programmes, moreso if they involve chocolate.

She gets up and points at the man on the TV “Is his name Willie?”

“Yes it is” I confirm, knowing exactly where this is going.

4 year old – “Really? WILLIE?”

Me – “Yes, now ssssshhhhhhh”

4 year old – “BUT, boys have a willy!” she shouts in astonishment as she falls back onto the sofa in fits of giggles.

… closely followed by Incident 2

4 Year old – “Mummy, Mummy come and look at what he can do with his willy”

At the time I was washing up. As I dried my hands and rushed to my 2 year old, my thoughts were as follows;

  • Oh my god – he’s chopped it off with the scissors (after all we haven’t visited A&E in over a month).
  • He’s allowed the 4 year old to felt tip on it and add festive glitter (modern art?).
  • He’s trapped it in something (we haven't had a really embarrassing A&E trip yet).

Nothing would surprise me anymore in this house. These options may seem farfetched, but not as farfetched as the 3 year old (friend of a friend of a friend's friend) I am aware of who was able to proudly put a whole mini diecast dinosaur in his foreskin before his mother drummed the perils of sharp objects and nether regions into him.

Fortunately it was none of the above.

I walked into the living room to find him lying on the sofa watching Lazytown.

4 year old – “Show Mummy what has happened …”

My 2 year old casually revealed himself, not taking his eyes off the TV.

4 year old – “Look Mummy it’s pointing upwards”

Me – “Oh yes, so it is. It’s Scooby Doo next, does anyone want a biscuit?”


myrna said...

Ha! Hilarious. We don't use the word "willy" here (in the states) but I have heard an awful lot of funny conversations when my two are in the tub together.

Corey Schwartz said...

Ooops. Somehow, I was logged in as my "mum". (myrna) Just wanted to come back so you would know who was here. (and maybe stop by my blog sometime)


Stinking Billy said...

laura, 'pointing upwards' at two, eh? I demand to know what you are feeding him on!

Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

Oh we have SO been there Laura. My son is obsessed with his willy, totally totally obsessed.
He started inquiring why there was suddenly a bone in his willy and who had put it there and WHY.

It only gets worse . . . sorry!

Anonymous said...

You kill me!

CJ xx

The Grocer said...

On a semi serious note your nonchalance is to be applauded, men can end up (no pun intented) with all sorts of deep rooted issues stemming from mothers that try and banish early willy fiddling. You keep on letting him fiddle freely at least until he's at an age where it becomes arrestable.

Shosh said...

i remember how horrified i was the first time my oldest son said to me, "Look mommy, my pee-pee is long and hard!"

Kool Aid said...

Oh wow, that is too funny! I'm sure it won't be long before there's a similar conversation at our house.