Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Nigella Does Jamie At Christmas

We were invited to see Polar Express (in 3D) at the IMAX in Bradford this weekend. Unfortunately we had to decline. We were on a mission to IKEA for 8 x 250ml kilner jars … as you do, the last Saturday before Christmas. Let’s just say that the husband has watched too much ‘Nigella Does Jamie At Christmas’ this week and our kitchen is a veritable hubbub of festive produce. As I type he is polishing his jars for his cranberry and apple chutney.

Luckily we decided to pass on the Polar Express and return directly home. I say luckily because later on my friend (teacher friend mother of three) told me that she had had to leave the IMAX with her eldest child (age 4). She was scared and they had to stand in the foyer where there was an exploding poo situation in the toilets (hopefully the 4 year old and not her) and a host of Cliff Richard Christmas songs being piped out. On the way home she asked her 2 year old son if he’d had a good time, he replied “No, I had a scaredy time”. Once home her husband admitted that they indeed have the film in their DVD collection and could have, instead, been scared in the comfort of their own home. To add further insult to an already expensive and frightening injury it is also on TV on Christmas Eve.

Meanwhile, I had snuggled on the sofa after our IKEA scramble for some pre bed cartoon fun, when I noticed The Goonies was on Boomerang. Caught up in childhood nostalgia we watched, and laughed at Chunk’s ‘truffle shuffle’. I thought we’d struck gold; my little munchkins cuddled up in their pyjamas, the fire roared and the smell of cranberries wafted through the house. Once the nostalgic thoughts had cleared I actually fast forwarded the film in my mind and started to remember it in more detail; skeletons, scary Italian mafia types and the character Lotney ‘Sloth’ Fratelli … then on our TV … cue dead body falling out of an industrial freezer on top of a child.

4 year old –“Mummy that man is FAST asleep”

Me – “BEDTIME!”

I don’t think we’ll be entertaining anything more perilous than Tom & Jerry from now on.

6 comments:

The Grocer said...

Not surprised they had an exploding poo problem playing Cliff songs.
Not sure about the makeover in the new photo, hope it didn't cost too much.

Old Knudsen said...

The Goonies have made me hate films in which the kids are heroes. Harry Potter can die in a fire. Kids are self serving mongs like politicians but smarter.
And the screaming ach.
Polar express has been called scary and so I've never watched it, give me saving Ryan's privates anyday.

I wish people would stop talking about Nigella as painful 4 hour erections are um sore when I just think about that toffy nosed bint.

The Dotterel said...

But Tom and Jerry's much more violent!

The Book Chook said...

The Book Chook is a great wuss herself and cannot understand why anyone would want to be scared out of their wits while watching a movie. But some kids either thrive on scary, or at the very least boast they do.

Hoping you and yours have a wonderful Christmas!

Susanna (A Modern Mother) said...

Sounds like you had a great Christmas!

Baby Island said...

HAh! Love the reminiscence of Goonies!!!

You were so right not to have made it to the 3D version of the Polar Express, lucky you! Personally I can not imagine worse except having three children in 13 months. Whoops. However, TPE in 3D seems like it would be a horrific experience.

Can I borrow your chutney making husband? That in and of itself sounds divine. Isn't sharing the right thing to do over the holidays? Just send him to Anacortes WA, ask for Baby Island.

*wink*