4 year old - DADDY, WHY DID YOU JUST SHOUT SHIP?
Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Abandon Ship
Whilst I was getting the 3 year old out of the bath last night I heard the following being shouted downstairs ...
4 year old - DADDY, WHY DID YOU JUST SHOUT SHIP?
4 year old - DADDY, WHY DID YOU JUST SHOUT SHIP?
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Obviously doh ...
We arrived at school early on Friday and chose to sit in the car rather than wait in the chilly playground.
The 4 year old's school is nestled in a residential area.
A man pulled up outside his house and released not one, not two, not three ... but four dogs from the boot of his car after their early morning outing.
One of the dogs was missing a limb.
Me - "That dog only has three legs"
She looks up from her book, looks at the dog and says matter of factly;
4 year old - "Yes, the other one dropped off"
... and continues looking at her book.
The 4 year old's school is nestled in a residential area.
A man pulled up outside his house and released not one, not two, not three ... but four dogs from the boot of his car after their early morning outing.
One of the dogs was missing a limb.
Me - "That dog only has three legs"
She looks up from her book, looks at the dog and says matter of factly;
4 year old - "Yes, the other one dropped off"
... and continues looking at her book.
Note to self - Teach children the art of people watching by stealth
On Tuesday we went to the park after school to try and dissolve any'post Easter/after school' arguments and whining. The idea being the kids would have a pinic tea in the sunshine and run wild on the adventure playground.
We are sat at the traffic lights, 4 year old in the front, 3 year old in the back.
4 year old - "Mummy, look at that TINY Grandma, look, look."
3 year old - "Where, where?"
I can see in my mirror that the 3 year old is actually considering taking off his seatbelt for a better look. I give him 'the glare' and he reconsiders and cranes his neck to see.
In order for me to look I have to lean really far forward to look at the woman in the passenger seat of the car next to us.
It's true, the woman in the passenger seat of the car next to us is in fact the TINIEST Grandma I have ever seen.
I look at the lady driver, our eyes meet. I look away quickly, embarrassed that I have been caught out staring at her TINY Grandma. I look in the opposite direction willing the lights to change.
Me - "Really, you mustn't stare"
3 year old - "I don't like that TINY Grandma"
Me - "Sit back and stop staring both of you!"
4 year old - "But she is soooo TINY, look, look"
Me - "Stop staring!"
I imagine the conversation in the other car ...
Woman in other car - "What is wrong with that child? She's bouncing about, shouting and staring at us. I bet the mother has been giving them too much sugar."
TINY Grandma - "Why is the one in the back with the big hair scowling at me?"
Woman in other car - "... and look, their mother is just ignoring them. Poor children"
TINY Grandma - "What chance have they got?"
Note to self - Teach children the art of people watching by stealth
We are sat at the traffic lights, 4 year old in the front, 3 year old in the back.
4 year old - "Mummy, look at that TINY Grandma, look, look."
3 year old - "Where, where?"
I can see in my mirror that the 3 year old is actually considering taking off his seatbelt for a better look. I give him 'the glare' and he reconsiders and cranes his neck to see.
In order for me to look I have to lean really far forward to look at the woman in the passenger seat of the car next to us.
It's true, the woman in the passenger seat of the car next to us is in fact the TINIEST Grandma I have ever seen.
I look at the lady driver, our eyes meet. I look away quickly, embarrassed that I have been caught out staring at her TINY Grandma. I look in the opposite direction willing the lights to change.
Me - "Really, you mustn't stare"
3 year old - "I don't like that TINY Grandma"
Me - "Sit back and stop staring both of you!"
4 year old - "But she is soooo TINY, look, look"
Me - "Stop staring!"
I imagine the conversation in the other car ...
Woman in other car - "What is wrong with that child? She's bouncing about, shouting and staring at us. I bet the mother has been giving them too much sugar."
TINY Grandma - "Why is the one in the back with the big hair scowling at me?"
Woman in other car - "... and look, their mother is just ignoring them. Poor children"
TINY Grandma - "What chance have they got?"
Note to self - Teach children the art of people watching by stealth
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Popping the corn ...
Teacher Friend Mother of Three's threw a party a few weeks ago.
All the kids were sat round eating their party tea and a bowl of popcorn was passed round.
The 3 year old and his friend were sat at a lower table and missed out.
3 year olds friend - "Can I have some c*ckp*rn please?"
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All the kids were sat round eating their party tea and a bowl of popcorn was passed round.
The 3 year old and his friend were sat at a lower table and missed out.
3 year olds friend - "Can I have some c*ckp*rn please?"
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Thursday, 16 April 2009
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Conversations with the 3 year old ...
... are so much simpler than conversations with the 4 year old.
Yesterday I was getting dressed. The 3 year old was sat on my bed.
3 year old - "What are they for?"
Me - "What?"
3 year old - "Your boobies"
Me - "When you were a baby they gave you milk"
3 year old - "Do I have eyeballs in my head?"
Me - "Yes, you have two"
... and with that he went about his business.
The same conversation with the 4 year old would have gone on for half an hour and she would have waited until we were in public before saying the word 'BOOBIES' really loud. By the end of my interrogation I would have needed a lie down and/or a large glass of wine.
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In other news
- More Than A Mother is hosting this weeks Mummy Bloggers carnival, go take a look.
- I will be reporting about whether I won the egg roll on Sunday tomorrow
- Stealth Boy has not been active since Friday
Yesterday I was getting dressed. The 3 year old was sat on my bed.
3 year old - "What are they for?"
Me - "What?"
3 year old - "Your boobies"
Me - "When you were a baby they gave you milk"
3 year old - "Do I have eyeballs in my head?"
Me - "Yes, you have two"
... and with that he went about his business.
The same conversation with the 4 year old would have gone on for half an hour and she would have waited until we were in public before saying the word 'BOOBIES' really loud. By the end of my interrogation I would have needed a lie down and/or a large glass of wine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news
- More Than A Mother is hosting this weeks Mummy Bloggers carnival, go take a look.
- I will be reporting about whether I won the egg roll on Sunday tomorrow
- Stealth Boy has not been active since Friday
Friday, 13 February 2009
she looks at me, at herself, at my nether regions
When I wrote Cheap at half the price yesterday it brought back memories of another conversation ...
In the car just me and the 4 year old. We stop at the traffic lights.
A heavily pregnant woman crosses the road with her child.
4 year old – She has a baby in there doesn't she?
Me – Yes, she does
4 year old – I was in your tummy once wasn’t I?
Me – Yes, you were
4 year old - How did I get out of your tummy?
At this point I wonder whether to be truthful or fob her off with tales of storks, fairy dust and a drum roll.
It’s a case of fob her off and have to face it another time or tell the truth and face the consequences.
4 year old – Did I come out of your belly button?
I am feeling brave, I can deal with this.
Me – No … you came out of my girly bits.
Stunned silence, she looks at me, at herself, at my nether regions then back at herself.
4 year old – Don’t be silly mummy.
Me – It’s true, you came out of my girly bits.
She looks at me and shakes her head, then clutches her belly and gives the biggest laugh.
4 year old - How did I really get out?
I can't win. A trip to the bookshop may be in order.
In the car just me and the 4 year old. We stop at the traffic lights.
A heavily pregnant woman crosses the road with her child.
4 year old – She has a baby in there doesn't she?
Me – Yes, she does
4 year old – I was in your tummy once wasn’t I?
Me – Yes, you were
4 year old - How did I get out of your tummy?
At this point I wonder whether to be truthful or fob her off with tales of storks, fairy dust and a drum roll.
It’s a case of fob her off and have to face it another time or tell the truth and face the consequences.
4 year old – Did I come out of your belly button?
I am feeling brave, I can deal with this.
Me – No … you came out of my girly bits.
Stunned silence, she looks at me, at herself, at my nether regions then back at herself.
4 year old – Don’t be silly mummy.
Me – It’s true, you came out of my girly bits.
She looks at me and shakes her head, then clutches her belly and gives the biggest laugh.
4 year old - How did I really get out?
I can't win. A trip to the bookshop may be in order.
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Cheap at half the price ...
Travelling home in the car, just me and the 4 year old.
The 6 o'clock news is on the radio. A woman is appealing to catch her husband's killer, naturally, she is distraught.
Luckily the heater in my car sounds like a vacuum cleaner, the 4 year old doesn't hear the full details, but she does understand that the woman is crying.
4 year old - Why is that lady crying?
Me - Her husband has died
4 year old - She must be very sad
Me - Yes, she is
4 year old - She won't ever see him again
Me - No
She ponders awhile. I hope this is the end of the conversation, not wanting a full death discussion before bedtime, but no ...
4 year old - She can buy a new husband though can't she?
Me - Umm, I don't think so
4 year old - Yes Mummy, she can buy a new husband and marry him like you and Daddy *
Me - How much do you think a husband costs?
4 year old - I don't know .... fiftyten pounds maybe.
* I would like to point out that although my husband and I are married, there was no dowry involved much to my fathers disappointment.
The 6 o'clock news is on the radio. A woman is appealing to catch her husband's killer, naturally, she is distraught.
Luckily the heater in my car sounds like a vacuum cleaner, the 4 year old doesn't hear the full details, but she does understand that the woman is crying.
4 year old - Why is that lady crying?
Me - Her husband has died
4 year old - She must be very sad
Me - Yes, she is
4 year old - She won't ever see him again
Me - No
She ponders awhile. I hope this is the end of the conversation, not wanting a full death discussion before bedtime, but no ...
4 year old - She can buy a new husband though can't she?
Me - Umm, I don't think so
4 year old - Yes Mummy, she can buy a new husband and marry him like you and Daddy *
Me - How much do you think a husband costs?
4 year old - I don't know .... fiftyten pounds maybe.
* I would like to point out that although my husband and I are married, there was no dowry involved much to my fathers disappointment.
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