A shrug of the shoulders and a waft of garlic

I have stopped asking questions about school at pick up time. I get the same tired answer over and over again ...

"I don't know" with a shrug of the shoulders.

The words blood and stone spring to mind.

I have learnt to leave well alone and during the evening I get a trickle of glimpses of the 4 year old's day.

Gone are the days when I knew my children's every move.

I remember fondly a time when I could chart the bowel movements of my children and regale them to my husband when he returned from work.

Oh, those were the days.

One of the things I always want to know is what she's eaten for lunch. Mainly because when I'm serving dinner I always seem to be in line with the school kitchens. I serve spag bol, she had it for lunch. I serve lasagne, she had it for lunch and so on and so forth. Whether this is the truth or just my daughter being 4 I am not sure.

As I picked the 4 year old up from school today I got a waft of garlic ...

Me - "Have you been eating garlic?"

My pedantic daughter replied all matter of fact, as only she can ...

Her - "No Mum, it's not garlic, it's garlic bread."

So, tonight over dinner I asked the 3 year old what he did at pre-school. He is always happy to give explicit details in his own special way ...

Him - "I climbed on David* ... eat buns ... had poo ... bikes and sing songs with lady".

Poor David.

The buns bit is his daily lie, he tell me this part with a mischievous grin so I will say in mock horror "Buns?" to which he says "Noooooo" with a giggle. It's one of those little things that he never seems to tire of.

The 4 year old feeling left out and pondering whether to share her day starts up with ...

Her - Do you want to know what I did with my lunch?

At this point I get excited thinking I'm going to get hard information ...

Me - Yes, what did you do?

Her - I ate it.

... and that is all I get.

My son climbed on David, didn't eat buns, had a poo, rode a bike and sang songs.

My daughter ate her lunch which involved garlic bread.

Maybe I should be grateful for any information at all?

Imagine the conversation David and his Mum were having.

* Names have as usual being changed to protect the, in this case poor, innocent David

Little Miss Attitude

She’s 4 years old going on 13. I just don’t know where she gets it from ….

• She speaks first, thinks later.
• If she has too much sugar (a droplet of Ribena and a Jelly Baby is enough) she shouts like a bellowing bison in her sleep.
• She tells you “I know that” with an air of authority before you’ve finished your sentence.
• She doesn’t like boys, she only likes girls … but she likes her brother … but not always.
• She wants pasta for tea … no, she wants chicken … no, she wants sausages … no, she definitely wants pasta
• She wants to marry her brother even though she likes her brother … but not always.
• If something doesn’t happen fast enough (like NOW) she weeps with frustration.
• She doesn’t want school dinners she wants a packed lunch … but she still wants to have rice pudding on a plate and the chocolate with onions in it.
• She loves PE because she plays the ‘toilet’ game (it is genuine) but hates PE because she can’t get her tights back on without assistance.
• When playing games she has exasperating determination – she takes her father’s ethos of “you play to win at ALL costs”.
• She wants to wear shorts and a vest because it’s frosty outside and the sun is bound to come out later because she’s been crossing her fingers.

I find the whole thing baffling.

The 2 year old sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry if life isn’t going his way. Now that I understand.