Fishfingers, Fireworks and Fate

We are driving home from teacher friend, mother of three’s fishfinger and firework extravaganza. The 4 year old is grumbling about having to leave the fun to go home to bed. The grumbling quickly escalates into a rant with tears and she is given a warning that if she continues she’ll lose a bedtime story. Low and behold … she continues.

“One bedtime story gone” I say.

She stops crying and with an air of injustice says “Mummy, if you are not nice to me I won’t be your child anymore” adding a huff on the end for effect.

I have never heard of social services intervention due to bedtime story withdrawal so I confidently deliver the news that we are stuck with each other forever.

Accepting her doom, she points at the 2 year old who, sensing the unrest has taken to his favourite pastime of raspberry blowing “Will he always be my brother?”

“Yes” I reply “We are stuck with him too”.

Little Miss Attitude

She’s 4 years old going on 13. I just don’t know where she gets it from ….

• She speaks first, thinks later.
• If she has too much sugar (a droplet of Ribena and a Jelly Baby is enough) she shouts like a bellowing bison in her sleep.
• She tells you “I know that” with an air of authority before you’ve finished your sentence.
• She doesn’t like boys, she only likes girls … but she likes her brother … but not always.
• She wants pasta for tea … no, she wants chicken … no, she wants sausages … no, she definitely wants pasta
• She wants to marry her brother even though she likes her brother … but not always.
• If something doesn’t happen fast enough (like NOW) she weeps with frustration.
• She doesn’t want school dinners she wants a packed lunch … but she still wants to have rice pudding on a plate and the chocolate with onions in it.
• She loves PE because she plays the ‘toilet’ game (it is genuine) but hates PE because she can’t get her tights back on without assistance.
• When playing games she has exasperating determination – she takes her father’s ethos of “you play to win at ALL costs”.
• She wants to wear shorts and a vest because it’s frosty outside and the sun is bound to come out later because she’s been crossing her fingers.

I find the whole thing baffling.

The 2 year old sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry if life isn’t going his way. Now that I understand.